Spoiler…this is a tongue in cheek article from the Babylon Bee. So it’s intended to make you laugh and think. With those caveats read on…
With school choice being such a hot topic these days, it can be helpful for parents to learn more about what the experiences are like in different learning environments. Though there may be pros and cons to each option, the differences may surprise you.
The Babylon Bee is proud to help parents make more well-informed decisions with the following list of differences between public school kids and homeschooled kids:
Homeschooled Kids: Learn how to manufacture paste using complex chemical processes. Their mother then sells the paste as a side hustle.
Public Schooled Kids: Eat paste.
Homeschooled Kids: Read War and Peace. In Kindergarten. For fun.
Public Schooled Kids: Read The Big Gay Sex Book.
Homeschooled Kids: Reading at a college level in 2nd grade.
Public Schooled Kids: Exploring alternative sexualities at a college level in 2nd grade.
Homeschooled Kids: A full day of lessons packed into two hours.
Public Schooled Kids: Two hours of lessons stretched into a full day.
Homeschooled Kids: Kill and butcher wild game and eat eggs provided by the backyard chickens.
Public Schooled Kids: Eat processed, genetically modified food provided by the government.
Homeschooled Kids: Tuesday afternoon is “Range Day” with Dad.
Public Schooled Kids: Get arrested for picking up a gun-shaped stick and saying “pew pew!”
Homeschooled Kids: Educational field trip to the local zoo.
Public Schooled Kids: The classroom is a zoo.
Homeschooled Kids: Think public schoolers are weird and are right.
Public Schooled Kids: Think homeschoolers are weird and are right.
We hope this valuable information helps you make the best decision for your child!